Biblical order of the family

Cinderella Atajan
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Biblical order of the family. To leave Jesus Christ and the Bible be out of your daily conversations is a fatal mistake. Jesus never had a home of His own, but He was a home lover and spent a lot of time in different homes.
His presence in the home is indispensable. He loves your home and wants to be a welcomed guest at any time. Never create a situation in your family that you would not feel comfortable inviting Him in as your guest. There can really be no deep and abiding love without Him.

There may be agreement, after a kind. Men and women may even live together in peace, but there is no such thing as a true home without the abiding presence of the Son of God. The heart of every home is the wife; the head of every home is the husband; the head of every husband is Christ; the head of Christ is God. (I Corinthians 11:3)  “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God” 

Christianity admonishes the church to be the model of the family in  (Ephesians 5:23) I see the church it self as the family and it most all submit to Christ. Love is sacrificial just as Jesus demonstrated this by dying on the cross parents and children are also called to make sacrifices for each other.The family is the first place where children can find out about love, companionship and forgiveness if parents set a good example on how to  have a Christian home it a lot more easier for the family chain to move in accordance to God’s family pattern.


Father ———> Mother ———-> Children


The father is the head of the family, his duties as the head are to protect, lead, and provide for his home. We see God (ABBA) which means sustainer and provider, plays the same role in our lives, the church too he provides, protects, and leads us.

1. A responsibility to lead 2. A responsibility to seek God 3. A responsibility to pray 4. A responsibility to provide 5. A responsibility to protect.
What would you say if I told you men fulfilling their responsibilities as fathers could solve all the world’s problems? Yes, It doesn’t fulfill the family pattern well when men neglect their responsibilities as fathers, husbands, sons, and brothers.

We see around us increasingly disorganized and overwhelmingly deaf families. Children are left unprotected with their mothers, in some families only the children know and have relationships with Christ. In such families, things will be more difficult for children. In my whole family line, I am the first to reach and cross some spiritual limits with God. Can you imagine a whole lot of things I had to work on? If my grandparents or parents had played the role, the pressure would have reduced. Because I would have just build upon their efforts.

These and more most children still face due to the lake of certain actions by most fathers. It hurt when children look up to the father for protection (physical and spiritual) and don’t see him act defensively. We see around us a rejection of natural order, Calm communication of natural order between the family it means the responsibility of some fathers has fallen off balance.
The father figure needs to rise to fit his position so that his position will not be taken away by the woman. 

Women step up when men step away sometimes.

Women are gifted nurturers, comforters, teachers, and prophets. We are given these responsibilities to help our husband. A woman in a natural form can do what a man can do if he fails to do them. That is why in some families when the father is not alive it is hardly noticed than when the woman. This is not in any way disregarding the office of the man. No, am just giving an example of what I have seen happen around me. 

As a daughter, a woman is traditionally responsible for taking care of her parents. As a wife, she is expected to serve her husband, preparing food, clothing, and other personal needs. As a mother, she has to take care of the children and their needs, including education. As a worker, she has to be professional, disciplined, and a good employee. And as a member of society, she is expected to participate in community activities and volunteer work, both within her community and through social organizations. Some cultures and families still maintain gender roles today.

Overcoming this inflexibility in women’s and men’s roles within the family is therefore important. Let’s first see that, by the very definition of role flexibility. Both men and women have equal responsibilities to earn money and to participate actively within the family. The man is a provider and the woman is a nurturer. The nurturer can as well provide if the provider does not provide because she can’t nurture without provision.

Therefore, A flexible financial support arrangement can contribute to marital happiness. Implementing a flexible arrangement for men’s and women’s roles in the household can contribute to the happiness of the family members and help reduce the number of divorces. Nobody, after all, dreams of having a broken family. So whoever provides either the man or woman it should be done with balance.

The Duties of Children to Parents In Exodus 20:12 What are the Biblical duties and obligations of children to parents?


1. Children have the duty of honoring and respecting their father and mother. The principle embedded in this commandment goes beyond duties. Children are to show this honor in a respectful attitude toward their parents they are to: 
2. Speak respectfully to their parents.  One way this is evident is by using “sir” and “ma’am” when addressing parents and other elders.  
3. They are to listen to their parents when they are spoken to by turning in the direction of their parents with an open and receptive posture. 
4. They are not to speak ill publically of their parents or to publically disagree with their parents, though they might certainly seek private entreaty in cases where there might have been injustice or disagreement or need for further understanding.

In the OT, We have a story of a child dishonoring a parent the rebellion of Absalom against his father David.  Compare, however, David’s lament at the death of his rebellious son: KJV 2 Samuel 18:32 And the king said unto Cushi, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is. 33 And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son! A child can bring a parent great joy or he can break a parent’s heart. 
2. Children have the duty of obeying father and mother. In the household Ephesians 6:1: tells “Children, obey  your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Colossians 3:20:  “Children, obey your parents in all things:  for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord.”

Note, however, that in Ephesians 6:1 Paul says that this obedience is to be “in the Lord.”  Just as a wife is not called to submit to a husband in unlawful and ungodly actions, so a child is not bound to obey parents in such actions.  Most people make use of these scriptures and cut off the most important part. Whatever instruction we get from parents if it is against the Lord. That is rebellion unto the Lord. 

Again, it has been rightly said that delayed obedience is disobedience.  the modern method of “counting to three.”  teaches that obedience may be delayed.  We should teach our children from an early age quickly to obey.  As a child grows older, into the teen years, it is not inappropriate for a child respectfully to seek explanation and reasoning on any command they might not understand or need to clarify. 

But this should only be done respectfully and with a spirit of, “Yes, I will do what you ask, but I would seek this clarification.”Perhaps the most vivid Scriptural picture of a child’s lawful unconditional obedience to a parent is in Genesis 22 when Isaac obeys the command of his father Abraham and is bound to the altar ready to be sacrificed, anticipating the obedience of Christ to the will of his Father on the cross.

3. Children have the duty of listening to the counsel of father and mother. It has often been said that one’s parents get wiser and wiser the older you get. A wise child will realize that he has much to learn from the counsel of his parents. This is the setting for the entire book of Proverbs which begins, “My son, hear the instructions of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (1:8). The book of Proverbs generally affirms the wisdom of seeking counselors.  Proverbs 11:14 notes that “in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

A wise child will seek the counsel of his parents in his education, vocational calling finances, marriage, prospects, etc.  Of course, when he marries a son leaves the household of his mother and father and establishes his own household, seeking the counsel of his wife, even over that of his parents.  Still, even after marriage, he should see his parents as valuable resources.  Certainly, in the best circumstances, the parents are to be a spiritual resource and example to children. 

4. Children have the duty of caring for father and mother in their old age.
The burden of care for aging parents from a Biblical perspective is not the duty of the church but of the children.  We are to do this to the degree that providential circumstances will allow. Compare some of Paul’s teaching on care for widows: KJV 1 Timothy 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow has children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 

He then adds:KJV 1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. When you become a parent you realize how much your parents did for you.  In the natural process of time, the tables begin to turn and you may be given opportunity to serve them even as they served you.

5. Where there have been failures and breaches, children have the duty of understanding and forgiving father and mother. Part of personal emotional and spiritual maturity is coming to the realization that your parents were not perfect and perhaps did not do all perfectly in your upbringing and yet extending to them forgiveness and grace. This is certainly not to whitewash the experience of those who went through real abuse.  Sometimes full reconciliation cannot ever be achieved. But in ordinary circumstances the disposition of children toward parents should be one of grace even in their parent’s faults. 

Compare: KJV 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.KJV Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: God has supported, protected, and added unexpected provisions for our needs along the way.  Even the sufferings themselves have proved to be part of God’s design for family life” crave to have a good and happy family even if you never had one. That what God desires from you and it begins with a decision from you. 

Written by: Cindy AtajanFacebook and Instagram: Cindy Atajan


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